Posted tagged ‘radiator cat bed’

Offense is rank, it smells to heaven

March 1, 2010

I went on a bit of shopping spree as planned, hoping to show Richard that I really care for him by spoiling him rotten.

Without exception I was disappointed in all the items I purchased, so I set about writing some pretty scathing reviews.

Litter Kwitter Cat Toilet Training System Tray Loo

Price: £39.99

Availability: In stock

2 of 47 people found the following review helpful:


Give them an inch…

…and, like all cats, they will take a mile.

I bought this for my cat Richard, who by feline standards is a remarkably quick study. Sure enough he quickly mastered the steps to civilised toilet squatting without any real difficulty and, for a short time it seemed to have revolutionised our household. I no longer had to clear out his very unpleasant litter (and believe me he used to pass some zingers) and he in turn was spared the ignominy of having his nose rubbed in his own effluvium.

The problems only really started a couple of weeks later. You see given that his diet is made up almost entirely of Pepperami sausages, chocolate biscuits and lager, he tends to spend quite a lot of time in there, usually with my newspaper and a packet of cigarettes. When I knock at the door, desperate to use the toilet myself, I am often greeted with an aggressive and often slightly slurred sounding ‘Meow’ that (call me paranoid) I can only suppose is some sort of abusive kitty slang word. Not only that but when he does finally finish up and slinks out of the bathroom eyeballing me resentfully, my newspaper is all shredded around the edges where he has been holding it and the bathroom smells strongly of cat poo and Benson and Hedges.

Tags: feline bastard pain



Radiator Cat Bed

Price: £8.99

Availability: In stock

1.57 of 93 people found the following review helpful:


A cause of great upheaval

After much deliberation I bought the above item for my cat, Richard. I was loath to purchase anything that would make his life easier as he is already making mine a living hell and everything that I buy for him just seems to add to my misery. The toilet training lavatory attachment I bought has turned out to be a nightmare, the scratching board I purchased he used to file off the serial numbers on his Beretta and now this.

Everything seemed fine, he would sit comfortably for hours at a time, sleeping or smoking or cooking up and I would have some blessed peace and quiet for a while. However, when I arrived home from work at the lab one day I found, much to my consternation, that he had re-arranged all the furniture in the living room so that he could now see the TV from his radiator vantage point. It upsets the entire balance of the room! Not only that but he jealously guards the remote and never lets me watch anything that I want to. As if that weren’t enough, he has now moved my computer desk beside the radiator and spends all day on internet gambling websites. He is worth approx £120000 at the time of writing, yet I’m still the one having to buy his kebabs, his vodka and his cigarettes!

I bought Richard as a kitten in the hope that he would grow into a loving and affectionate companion, but I’m starting to think that he might just be a bad egg.


Sharp end Cat Pencil

Price: £7.49

84 of 85 people found the following review helpful:


Be very careful

I bought this cat pencil for my cat Richard, but when I tried to insert it as demonstrated in the diagram he attacked me quite violently. I don’t advise it.


Fever Zip Up Cat Suit Red

Price: £23.99

Availability: In stock

0 of 4754 people found the following review helpful:


Not suitable for Richard

I bought this for my Cat, Richard, thinking that he might look very dapper in his own suit. Not only was it far too big for him, but he almost suffocated under the weight of the stretchy fabric. His little feline face was trying to push through the material, making him look like some sort of demonic monster from a big budget horror film. Finally I managed to extricate him from the suit and, angered by what he saw as an attempt on his life, he proceeded to smash all the windows of my car.

I cannot state this strongly enough, this item is not suitable for cats.


Cosy Pet Fleece cat Blanket -Chocolate

Price: £4.99


Availability: In stock

18 of 12 people found the following review helpful:


Sick

Personally I think this is terrible. Myself and my cat, Richard, don’t always see eye to eye, especially since he brought home those two hookers, but even I would hesitate at the thought of killing him and using his pelt to make a high quality chocolate coloured fleece blanket.



Wild Cats Tattoos (Temporary Tattoos)

Price: £1.51

Availability: In stock

-8 of 100 people found the following review helpful:

Difficult

I bought these temporary ‘Wild Cats Tattoos’ for my cat, Richard. I have given the product an average rating because, while they didn’t show up very well on his fur, the necessary wrestling that I had to engage him in to apply them did actually make him into a pretty wild cat. So wild in fact that he sneaked into the basement during the night and half cut all the weight cables on my multi-gym, leading to an accident that saw me hospitalised for three weeks.

My advice would be to check with your cat before purchasing and make sure that it is something that he/she really wants.

Litter Kwitter Cat Toilet Training System Tray Loo

Litter Kwitter Cat Toilet Training System Tray Loo

Price: £39.99

Availability: In stock

2.0 out of 5 starsGive them an inch…, 26 Jan 2010

…and, like all cats, they will take a mile.

I bought this for my cat Richard, who by feline standards is a remarkably quick study. Sure enough he quickly mastered the steps to civilised toilet squatting without any real difficulty and, for a short time it seemed to have revolutionised our household. I no longer had to clear out his very unpleasant litter (and believe me he used to pass some zingers) and he in turn was spared the ignominy of having his nose rubbed in his own effluvium.

The problems only really started a couple of weeks later. You see given that his diet is made up almost entirely of Pepperami sausages, chocolate biscuits and lager, he tends to spend quite a lot of time in there, usually with my newspaper and a packet of cigarettes. When I knock at the door, desperate to use the toilet myself, I am often greeted with an aggressive and often slightly slurred sounding ‘Meow’ that (call me paranoid) I can only suppose is some sort of abusive kitty slang word. Not only that but when he does finally finish up and slinks out of the bathroom eyeballing me resentfully, my newspaper is all shredded around the edges where he has been holding it and the bathroom smells strongly of cat poo and Benson and Hedges.

I feel that my relationship with my cat is now at an all time low, though he is now 14 in cat years, so perhaps this is just an adolescent phase. The purchase of Litter Kwitter seems to be where it all started however and I couldn’t possibly recommend it for fear that anyone else might suffer the same problems that I did.

Tags: feline bastard pain


Radiator Cat Bed

Radiator Cat Bed

Price: £8.99

Availability: In stock

13 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 starsA cause of great upheaval, 27 Jan 2010

After much deliberation I bought the above item for my cat, Richard. I was loath to purchase anything that would make his life easier as he is already making mine a living hell and everything that I buy for him just seems to add to my misery. The toilet training lavatory attachment I bought has turned out to be a nightmare, the scratching board I purchased he used to file off the serial numbers on his Beretta and now this.

Everything seemed fine, he would sit comfortably for hours at a time, sleeping or smoking or cooking up and I would have some blessed peace and quiet for a while. However, when I arrived home from work at the lab one day I found, much to my consternation, that he had re-arranged all the furniture in the living room so that he could now see the TV from his radiator vantage point. It upsets the entire balance of the room! Not only that but he jealously guards the remote and never lets me watch anything that I want to. As if that weren’t enough, he has now moved my computer desk beside the radiator and spends all day on internet gambling websites. He is worth approx £120000 at the time of writing, yet I’m still the one having to buy his kebabs, his vodka and his cigarettes!

I bought Richard as a kitten in the hope that he would grow into a loving and affectionate companion, but I’m starting to think that he might just be a bad egg.


Sharp end Cat Pencil Sharpener

Sharp end Cat Pencil Sharpener

Price: £7.49

Availability: In stock

1.0 out of 5 starsBe very careful, 27 Jan 2010

I bought this cat pencil for my cat Richard, but when I tried to insert it as demonstrated in the diagram he attacked me quite violently. I don’t advise it.


Fever Zip Up Cat Suit Red

Fever Zip Up Cat Suit Red

Price: £23.99

Availability: In stock

3.0 out of 5 starsNot suitable for Richard, 27 Jan 2010

Durability:3.0 out of 5 stars Fun:2.0 out of 5 stars Educational:1.0 out of 5 stars

I bought this for my Cat, Richard, thinking that he might look very dapper in his own suit. Not only was it far too big for him, but he almost suffocated under the weight of the stretchy fabric. His little feline face was trying to push through the material, making him look like some sort of demonic monster from a big budget horror film. Finally I managed to extricate him from the suit and, angered by what he saw as an attempt on his life, he proceeded to smash all the windows of my car.

I cannot state this strongly enough, this item is not suitable for cats.


Cosy Pet Fleece cat Blanket -Chocolate

Cosy Pet Fleece cat Blanket -Chocolate

Price: £4.99

Availability: In stock

2.0 out of 5 starsInhumane, 27 Jan 2010

Personally I think this is terrible. Myself and my cat, Richard, don’t always see eye to eye, especially since he brought home those two hookers, but even I would hesitate at the thought of killing him and using his pelt to make a high quality chocolate coloured fleece blanket.


Wild Cats Tattoos (Temporary Tattoos)

Wild Cats Tattoos (Temporary Tattoos)

Edition: Accessory

Price: £1.51

Availability: In stock

3.0 out of 5 starsDifficult, 27 Jan 2010

I bought these temporary ‘Wild Cats Tattoos’ for my cat, Richard. I have given the product an average rating because, while they didn’t show up very well on his fur, the necessary wrestling that I had to engage him in to apply them did actually make him into a pretty wild cat. So wild in fact that he sneaked into the basement during the night and half cut all the weight cables on my multi-gym, leading to an accident that saw me hospitalised for three weeks.

My advice would be to check with your cat before purchasing and make sure that it is something that he/she really wants.

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